The last two days have produced great weather days. We spent a lot of time outside. So today, when it started raining and turning a lot colder, I declared it a cleaning day or rather a cleaning morning. I needed to do laundry, the carpets needed vacuuming and everything had a layer of dust on it. I told the kids that today was going to be a cleaning day and that after breakfast and school (coloring, doing pre-school workbook and reading) that they were on their own to play for the rest of the morning. They all agreed and that was that.
I start cleaning and it was all going well until... "Maaaaaaaamaaaaaaa! I need you to help me with this Spiderman game". Fine. I go in there help Jon Kent do something really quickly and remind him that I am cleaning and he will have to figure it out for himself next time. I go back to cleaning. A few minutes go by and I'm approached by Zoey. "Momma, can you play with me in my room now?" "No, momma is cleaning, remember? When I'm done then I will play in your room with you." I return back to cleaning and then it starts all over again. Jon Kent wants my help with his game, Zoey sees me talking to Jon Kent and asks if I can play with her in her room. This goes on a bunch of times. The whole time I'm reminding them that I really need to get this done. I then tell them that if they would leave me alone for 10 minutes I could get a lot more done and be able to play with them a lot sooner. I get blank stares. Completely over their heads. I think ask them if they want to leave with a dirty house that has bugs and germs in it. They both shake their heads and give grossed out expressions.
So the whole time this is going on I'm feeling frustrated and guilty. Granted the frustration is understandable. I want to get something done and am being delayed.. frustration. But the guilt is harder to understand. I feel guilty because my kids want me to play with them and I am putting them off and telling them no. Which if I were a neglectful mother and was putting them off to watch TV or surf the internet (endlessly for hours.. blogging doesn't count.. lol) then I should feel guilty. But I'm telling them no to take an hour or so to clean up the house. No reason to feel guilty for that. But I do... every single time I have a "cleaning day". And I only have a "cleaning day" once every two weeks, when I absolutely clean the house from top to bottom. Then once a week I have a "cleaning morning" (like today) where it's just a quick all over clean and vacuuming. I've come a LONG way from thinking the house had to be spotless every day. A LONG way!
So why the guilt? I wish I knew. I just feel like at the end of the day I have beat myself up all day. And that I've been pulled in a hundred directions.. clean the house, play with the kids, wash clothes, play with the kids, vacuum, play with the kids, etc.
Someone tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.