The moon is broken. I repeat, the moon is broken. It was spotted today by two O'villers AFTER the sun was already up. They reported that it was broken because some of it was missing and it wasn't going away once the sun was up. They both declared that it must indeed be broken. Please, take this news seriously. Everyone please take cover. It's only a matter of time before the stars are broken as well and the sun will soon follow. Go gather your supplies and get to your safe place.
That is all.