Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I'm just going to say it.

I've been thinking about it since we got home from the beach. See, at the beach you are so preoccupied with having fun, applying sunscreen, building sandcastles, looking for crabs, eating crabs (rather watching other people eat crabs.. gross), reapplying sunscreen, talking walks on the beach, swimming in the pool, shopping, taking long naps, reapplying sunscreen, etc. to really think about anything else. But since coming back, all I can really think about is Nathan's up coming appointment to check out his lump over his eye. I try not to let my mind go there, I really do. But it's hard. I see that I have been clearly blessed with healthy children and then I think, "but are they really healthy?" I know, I know, I know.. "Give it to God. Pray." I have. I do. But I am human and my mind goes there. It goes to the place where everything isn't OK. Do you ever wonder if parents whose kids have been diagnosed with a horrible disease ever think, "but just yesterday s/he was just fine. Playing. Happy". I almost feel like I'm watching my life in front of me and I'm yelling at myself to "WATCH OUT!!! It's about to get rough!!" I know I have been given no reason to worry. The pediatrician even said he thought it was just a dermoid cyst. But still.. the thought is there. It's so scary to me that I can't even type it out. Please, just pray for Nathan. Pray that the lump is nothing. That it will be easily, successfully taken out and that will be that. I'm shaking even writing this. Pray for me. I just want my kids healthy. That's all. Nathan's appointment is Thursday at 2:30pm.

10 comments:

Sarah said...

I've been reading your blog for years (don't even remember how I found it!) but have never commented because I'm just really not a commenter. But I wanted you to know that I'm praying for you. And for Nathan.

KatieQ said...

Hugs Em!! I wasn't even aware of it (I haven't been reading too long). I'll definitely keep you all in my thoughts. My mind would go there too, and often does.

Taking Heart said...

Praying for the lump... that it's a whole lotta nothing. Benign.
Praying for Nathan... that the procedure is smoothe and pain free.
Praying for Nathan's Mamma... who is wearing a lot of worry and fret on her heart right now. Praying that God will give her peace, and strength and grace during the next few days.

TnL's Mommy said...

I can totally understand how your mind wants to go there and think it is natural for a Mommy to think that. I am praying for you and Nathan! I hope it all goes well. It is good sometimes to get those thoughts/feelings out there, I hope it helped a little....Praying for you!!

Christy said...

As a Mom who's had a child who had leukemia and then went on to Heaven, I can tell you that YES my thoughts have and from time to time still go to "on March 23, 1999 Jordyn was healthy and on March 24 she was ultimately given her death sentence". She was roller skating the night before she was dx with leukemia.

Praying the lump is nothing.

Kristine said...

Many PBS for Nathan! We found a small lump on the back of M's neck, behind her ear. She goes to the ped next week. I understand how it makes you crazy with worry.

Brandi said...

Many Many Many thoughts and prayers for Nathan. I hope it turns out to be nothing :)

Kim said...

Many prayers and I'm SURE it's nothing! My kids have had their fair shares of scares (beginning IN womb with the cysts on Haley's brain, and Kallie's high AFP)...luckily, everything has proved to be nothing. That sure didn't help me from worrying before hand though. I'm sure if the doctor was worried about it, he would've told you. Cysts are pretty common!

Praying for yoU!

Bridgett said...

Sending tons and tons of positive thoughts and energies your way!!!

XOXO

Karen said...

Aw Em! (((())) Loads of thoughts and prayers. I'll be thinking if you guys tomorrow.