Good-bye 2010

::::Deep breath out::::

Seriously, I just took a deep breath out.  It's just been a year.  I can say that I am gladly saying farewell to 2010.  It has sucked.  There, I said it.. sucked, sucked, sucked.  SUCKED!

Granted.. not all of it sucked.

We had a wonderful summer.  It was a healing summer.  There aren't words to really describe how much that summer healed my heart.  How the time spent with my kids is what pulled me through.  My kids are what got me through my darkest hours.  They kept me busy.  Swimming, playing, exploring, laughing.  They just kept me going.  If I would have ever just stopped for too long it would have done me in.  Thankfully, my kids don't stop for any long length of time.

I spent time at the beach with my family.  My daddy, brother, sister-in-law, nephew and my family all went to Panama City Beach together.  It was a trying time.  Not in a bad way necessarily.  It was just trying because we all knew that, that place was my momma's favorite place to go.  She lived to go to the beach every summer.  So to not have her there was hard.  Really hard.  But it was a first that we knew we had to get through and I am glad I had all them there to go through it with.

Kent and I had a wonderful trip to Washington, DC.  We spent a week of it being just us and exploring a new city together.  It was my second time to go and his first.  We enjoyed every minute of it.  And since my momma was a VERY, VERY, VERY patriotic person I somehow felt closer to her.  Knowing that she spent her honeymoon in that city and was with me the first time I explored that city.  I tried to stand in some of the same spots that I knew she once stood in.  It was another healing time.

Jon Kent started school this year.  As did Zoey.  That was a day I looked to for years.  Not because I was ready to get them out of the house and off my hands, but it just meant a new milestone was met and new adventures were happening.  When I found out my momma died, her missing Jon Kent's first day of school was the first thing to pop in my mind.

Kent and I got to go watch Auburn play South Carolina in September.  It was a great day spent with old and new friends.  We got to watch Auburn play a great game.  It was truly one of the best games I have ever been to.  We had an absolute wonderful time.

So, looking back, I know it all wasn't bad.  That there were many good times and memories made.  But unless you've lost someone close then you might not understand what I am about to say.  So, I'll try to explain.  Over the past 10 months many good things have happened, but even though they were good there was always an underlining sense of sadness that my momma wasn't a part of it.  That a piece of the puzzle was missing.  That's been the part that has sucked the most.  That through it all, she still wasn't a part of it.

In 2011 I know things will still be hard.  I know that as long as I am here, without her, that life isn't going to be like it would be if she were here.  That there will probably always been that underlining sense of sadness in a lot of things.  But the more that time goes on, I hope the more I can adapt to it.  Let it become my norm and learn from it.

I have several "resolutions" for 2011, most of them are your normal goals.  *Be healthier, spend more time with family, read more, learn more, save more, get more organized.*  Those types of things.  Some maybe not so normal ones are; *to finally get my house painted and decorated like I want (I have yet to hang anything on my walls and we have been here well over a year) and  take the kids to Disney World.  I want to make memories that my kids can hold on to as they grow.  Kind of like the memories that I hold on to when I miss my momma the most.

I hope that everyone has had a wonderful 2010.  And that everyone will have a wonderful, healthy and happy 2011.

Happy New Year!

Snowy Day after Christmas

I almost, almost got my first white Christmas.  And if we still lived in Alabama, I would  have.  But I still think we got the better end of the deal by moving.  Just putting that out there.

So, we actually got measurable snow, in the south, the day after Christmas.  The kids enjoyed it and I am thankful that it was only here two days.  I wasn't meant to live day after day with snow.  God knew exactly what He was doing when He put me in the south.

Now that Christmas is over and we have had a little snow to play in, I am ready for spring.. summer even!

Christmas Eve and Christmas- 2010

I have to say that this Christmas went well.  I was pretty anxious about it.  I'm coming to learn that you just never know what your emotions will be when you know that someone you love will no longer be a part of the celebrations.  I've also found that the days leading up to it are usually the hardest, but once the day is here it's not so bad.  But usually, for me, the days following are pretty tough.  I don't know if that is what it is like for anyone else, that's just been my own experience.

Christmas Eve was probably my favorite out of the two days.  The kids played so well together.  I had a lot of cooking to do, so they would help when asked and would leave me alone when I needed.  Kent was home so he and the kids played off and on all day.  The kids helped me make a gingerbread man.  They then decorated it.  They also helped bake cookies for Santa and decorated those as well.  After we had lunch, we all sat around the tree and opened gifts from each other.  Jon Kent and Zoey had both gone to the "Santa Shop" at their school and purchased a gift for us and Nathan.  So I got some gifts to them from us and Nathan as well.  We had a good time letting each of the kids open the gifts.  The rest of the day was spent with me cooking and getting ready for our Christmas lunch for the next day.


 Christmas Eve night we went to church for our Christmas Eve service.  I just love going.  Such a sense of family and love.  Which is good when we are so far from family.  After we got back from church the kids changed into their PJs and we checked to see where Santa was.  They all got excited to see that he was getting closer.  Then Kent read about the birth of Jesus and the book "The Night Before Christmas".  They set out cookies and milk for Santa, treats for the reindeer and letters to Santa.  Then off to bed they went.  Surprisingly in record time they were all asleep.

Christmas morning came and Jon Kent was the first one up.  Running into my room letting me know that "Santa had came, Santa had came".  He was so excited.  I told him to go and wake up his sister and she soon was bolting out of her room with excitement.  It took us awhile to get Nathan up and going, but once he got out of his morning fog he was ready to go as well.  This year was a bit different.  Usually Santa leaves all the presents in neat little stacks on various spots in the leaving room.  This year he put them all under the tree.  We let Nathan open all his first and surprisingly Jon Kent and Zoey waited patiently and were happy to watch Nathan unwrap all his gifts.  They seemed just as excited to see what he got as he was.  I loved watching each of them opening their gifts, watching their eyes light up and doing fist pumps in the air when they received something they really wanted.  After all the gifts were opened they all went to check if Santa had filled their stockings.  He had.  Santa sure is a great guy, huh.  He even left Nova a little toy.  Once all the gifts were opened and the paper was cleaned up, it was time for me to start cooking lunch.  By the time it was all done we had so much food.  We ate 4 meals off of it. So it was worth it.  By the time night rolled around there were toys everywhere and happy kids playing with their toys.  We even got some snow starting around midnight.  It was mostly mixed with rain until the following morning when it all turned into snow.


It was a good Christmas for us.  My heart ached through much of it, but I had prepared myself for that.  So it wasn't so unbearable.  I am thankful to have that 1st Christmas out of the way now.  That I know I can get through it.  That while it hurts and I wish things were different, I know that God provided for me what I needed to get through.  Even when I don't and still don't know exactly what I need.

So that was our Christmas 2010.  Let the New Year be a happy and healthy one!

Meet Aarron Thomas

Welcoming Aarron Thomas to the family!

Born on December 22, 2010.

Weighing 6 pounds and 12 ounces.

He came about 2.5 weeks early. But I was pretty excited about his early arrival because it meant I got to hold him while he was still a newbie. Otherwise, it would have been early spring or even summer before I got to hold him. I'm one proud auntie!

Christmas in Alabama- 2010

Christmas in Alabama
December 17-22, 2010

We had a wonderful trip to Alabama over the Christmas holiday. We got to spend time with all our family. Although each of the kids was sick or got sick while there, we pulled through it and still were able to fit in everything we wanted. It was also a hard time for me. Seeing as this was my first Christmas without my momma. There were a lot of differences. Even in the small things. It was all noticed. Daddy and I went to her grave to put some solar lights on a tree that was on her grave. It was heart wrenching to know that was the only way we could "include" her. My heart still aches everyday.

While we were in town, my daddy and I got to spend a lot of time together. I am a daddy's girl. Have been since I was born, probably. And to be able to spend any amount of time with him is always a good thing in my book. I love to stay up late and just watch HGTV and talk. We took a late night trip to Wal-Mart, got his shopping done and just all around had a good time together.

While the trip was great, going back home to South Carolina was good too. If it weren't for the 4 hours from here to there, I would go back home everyday.

Snow!

Merry Christmas

From our family to yours.

Merry, Merry Christmas Eve

At least it wasn't Santa's lap

Nathan,

Oh my dear, dear Nathan. You my son are one of a kind. And I don't say that clichely.. (yeah, your momma just made that word up). You are just your very own person. There is no one even remotely like you.. well.. besides your daddy when he was your age. But let's not split hairs here.

Tonight was a prime example.

It probably started while we were in line to see Santa. It took forever to get to see him because it was also "bring your pet night". Which was cool. It gave you and your siblings something to look at. You wanted me to "hold chew". While holding you, you kept grabbing "yourself" and I asked what you were doing. "Just holdin' my 'googi' (that's what we call your little penis.. as do you and your siblings and the last few generations on your Gramsie's side of the family.. digressing...). We finally get up to the front and your picture was taken. You smiled wonderfully. We get the pictures and go to play at the indoor playground inside the mall. You were running around having a great time. Your daddy called you over to tie your shoe. So you climbed in his lap. While he was tying your shoe you grabbed yourself again and said you had to go potty....

And not two seconds later you say.....

Wait for it... wait for it..

"Oh well!" (in a long drawn out southern drawl)

Your daddy gets this confused yet shocked look on his face.. turns to me and says...

*side note here: I am laughing uncontrollably while typing this.*

"Did he just pee on me???.... Yes.. he just did."

And you did.

I held it together all through the mall. Kept my mean mommy face on and told you that you really knew better than to wet your pants. I kept it together while getting you and your brother and sister buckled into your seats.

But when I looked at your daddy as we were driving off to head home (no change of clothes were found) I couldn't hold it together anymore.

I laughed and laughed.

Your daddy found no humor in the situation. Even questioning why I was laughing.

I will probably laugh about that for a good long while. The priceless expressions on your face and your daddy's will keep me smiling for quite some time.

Thank you for the laughs!

Love,

Momma

'tis the season..

To be busy. And apparently that means too busy to keep up with the blog. It's been good though. We had the kids' birthday party last weekend. Had Kent's family in town that same weekend. This weekend my daddy was in town. He actually just left. I love having family in town. It's a nice and cozy feeling. Kent and I got to go out this past Friday night while my daddy watched the kids for us. We went to our Sunday school's couples Christmas party. It was a good time. We did dirty Santa or whatever you call it with Christmas ornaments. Afterward we went to Starbucks for a late night treat.

Also, last week started the Upward basketball/cheerleading season for our church. We were all busy with that last week. I am hoping this week will be better since we will know more of what to expect. I am coach K-2 grade cheerleading. So far they seem like a great group of girls. They were really eager to learn and paid really good attention. I am hoping for a good season.

As for this week, whew. A lot going on. Tomorrow I am helping get together a meal for a family in our church who just welcomed their 2nd boy to the family. We are also going to go visit Santa. Tuesday Kent and Jon Kent have basketball practice. Church is Wednesday. Thursday Zoey and I have cheer practice and then Friday we leave for Alabama for a few days of visiting with family before Christmas.

So as you can see.. very busy. Good busy though.

Happy 5th Birthday, Zoey

How is it that 5 years have come and gone so quickly? How can it possibly be true that you are 5 today. I can still see you so tiny and perfect. I can still remember the exact feelings I had when I saw you. It was pure joy. And over the past 5 years you have added so much spice to my life. You are the perfect "middle" child. Sandwiched right between your brothers to keep them both straight. And girl you do keep them straight. Five years.. wow. I am just so very thankful for every minute of it. Thankful for your health, your development, your generosity and love. I hope you have an absolute amazing 5th birthday! I love you, baby girl!!

I'm pretty sure you have to pay for that...

I took Zoey and Nathan to Kroger with me yesterday after we dropped Jon Kent off at school and did a few chores around the house.

HUGE mistake.

First of all, if I EVER want to stay on a budget while grocery shopping, the kids never allow it. Then I get distracted and it just all goes down hill from there.

I know this.. and yet I continue to take them to the grocery store with me. Talk about being hard headed.

Well, yesterday's trip was a lot of the same "I NEED this.. I really need that.." etc. Except for one small, tiny really, difference.

Zoey (or sticky fingers as her daddy and I call her now.. but obviously when she isn't around) tried to pocket a Christmas tree shaped Reese's peanut buttercup.

Yeeeeeeah...

So it went a little something like this:

Earlier in the trip she asked if she could get a Reese's peanut buttercup for her teacher. Because "all the other kids give her teacher candy". I said no that we weren't here for "presents" and that I am sure her teacher doesn't really want all that candy. She pouted up and moped for a bit, but seemed to recover and all was well.

Fast forward to the check-out line.

I am putting all the groceries on the conveyor belt and trying to keep my eyes on Nathan so that he doesn't bolt off or knock something over. Out of the corner of my eye I see Zoey and she has her back turned to me and is looking off in the distance. I, for a split second, found that odd but just figured she was being nosy and people watching. (Should have went with my motherly gut and asked her to turn around....)

So I get everything rung up and the cashier asks me if I am going "to get her (pointing at Zoey) that candy". I look at the conveyor belt thinking Zoey threw some candy up there without me noticing (don't see anything) and then look over at Zoey still all hunched over with her back turned to me. I knew immediately what she had done. So of course I did what any mother would do.. I called her out by her full first, middle and last name. "Zoey Taylor O____ turn around!" She does and then pulls out a Christmas tree shaped Reese's peanut buttercup. "What in the world are you doing? Give me that!" To which I grabbed it and put it back on the shelf. I then very embarrassingly finish paying for my groceries (see Zoey.. we PAY for what we get!!!) and start out, only to be turned back around by the bag boy telling me I forgot to my debit card.

Nice.

I get to the car and spank Zoey (yes, spanked her.. if you don't like it.. get over it and quit reading my blog!) We get home. I sit her in a chair and reexplain to her what she did and how it was wrong. Then had her retell me what she did and why it was wrong. Then I reminded her that where her daddy works is full of people who at one point or another stole something and where were they now??? Jail. And asked if she wanted to end up like that?

Yeah, I played that card.

She was sent to her room to think about it some more until it was time to go to school.

I don't foresee it happening again.. but then again I didn't foresee it happening at all.

Ahh, yes.. motherhood.

Bloopers

Or random shots...

While we were home in Alabama we had a family shoot. I took a few of the shots of the kids, but for the most part it was my daddy's handy work.

We got some good shots, but because patience ran short.. so did our shoot. Oh well.. better some than none I do suppose.

Oh Zoey and her faces...

Busy, busy, busy

What a last few days it has been.

We went home to Alabama for Thanksgiving. We stayed at my daddy's this time and we had a great visit.

I love staying up late and talking with my daddy. We watched "House Hunters" and just talked. How I love to just sit and talk.

I got my hair cut. I got it cut short, short, short a little over a year ago. I don't look good with short hair. So... I have been letting it grow. Since I don't have anyone around here to cut my hair I always wait to go home to have it trimmed or cut. I decided to go for more of a cut this time instead of just a trim. I LOVE IT!

Thanksgiving day we got up and got dressed and went out and took some family pictures at various places. I got some really good shots. I would show you them but I am using some for our Christmas card. So you will have to wait... I may do a "bloopers" entry at some point though. Never can tell with me...

For Thanksgiving lunch we went to eat with Kent's extended family. When we arrived we were all just standing around waiting for lunch to start when all of a sudden Nathan starts screaming and crying. He was holding his arm like he was hurt. I looked at him and thought I saw where a bee had stung him. There were several flying around. He cries himself to sleep in my arms. But every time I moved he cried. He woke up after about 20 minutes and was still crying and wouldn't move his arm. So off to the ER we go (I might add here that we had to go the ER about a week and a half ago because Nathan tried to eat a glass ornament and I thought he had swallowed some.. thankfully all the xrays came back fine and he was no worse for wear). We get there and the nurse moves his arm around and he is screaming and crying. A few minutes later the doctor comes in, gives him the once over and nothing. Nathan didn't cry, he moved his arm.. all was well. Doctor couldn't find a thing wrong and figured that Nathan must have dislocated and relocated his elbow. It was the craziest thing. All I can say is prayer works. I serve an awesome God.

After that whole ordeal the kids played in some leaves and had a blast.

We then came back to my daddy's house where I started cooking Thanksgiving supper. I had help, but it was the first time I had ever taken on a lot of the responsibility. It was scary. My daddy helped me a lot and he also ordered the turkey and ham so I didn't have to worry about messing those up. But at the end I was told it was all good. So that was great to hear.

Later that evening my daddy, Kent and myself all went Black Friday shopping. We had a good time. We found a few things and didn't get back home until about 6am.

Yesterday was the "Iron Bowl" (for those who aren't familiar it is when Auburn and Alabama play their annual rivalry football game). It was a close game, but Auburn pulled through with the win. And we are still on track for a chance at a national championship.

It was a great weekend, but I am glad to be back home. We have so many things coming up for us. School activities, Zoey's birthday, Jon Kent and Zoey's birthday party, more Auburn football and all of normal life craziness thrown in the mix.

Thanksgiving Week of Thankfuls- Friday

Final day...

Today, Lording willing (yes, I did these a head of time..), I will be spending the day with my husband and daddy.. Black Friday shopping. It's our first time to do it all together. This time last year I was doing the Black Friday thing with my momma. We had the absolute best time. And I long to be doing it with her again. My heart aches for her to be back in my life. But I am thankful for the memories that I now hold so very dear. And thankful for the memories that I get to make with Kent and my daddy. It's not about the shopping or getting the best deal. It's about doing something different with people you love. It's about standing in line, freezing to death but getting to talk. I am thankful for the memories.. past, present and future.

Thanksgiving Week of Thankfuls- Thursday

I am thankful for the approximate 9500 days I got to have my momma in my life. I am thankful for what she thought me. Who she raised me to be and how she raised me. I am thankful that from her life I have changed mine. I see things differently. And while it is very hard to "count it all joy" I am still very much thankful for the lessons I am learning even through her death. Thankful for the Thanksgiving last year I got to spend with her and all the wonderful memories we made that weekend. It's during my hardest days that I go back to those memories and smile. I still ache for her, always will but I thankful to know exactly where she is and that she is far happier, joyfuller, than I could have ever hoped for her to be.

Thanksgiving Week of Thankfuls- Wednesday

I am thankful for my kids. Each one had brought so much to my life. With each child, there are new things learned. There's just something about being a mother and being someone else's complete world. There is such a love that comes from a child that is so pure and unconditional.

Jon Kent is such a thoughtful child. He is quick to want to help someone. He will let me know when Nathan had fallen down while outside playing. Or he will save up his turtle bucks at school (good behavior incentive) and buy his sister something. He is smart and had a great thirst to learn more. He is tenderhearted. Which reminds me often to be more gentle and to sometimes take a step back and remember what it was like to be a child.

Zoey is a free spirit. She is extremely social and doesn't meet a stranger. She wants everyone to be here friend, but doesn't mind steering clear of someone who she doesn't mesh with. Zoey is also very creative. Always drawing something or want to do a craft. She also loves to accessorize. She is just a hoot. She keeps me laughing most days. Zoey is pretty laid back. She might be upset for a bit, but usually bounces back to her cheery self fairly quickly. Zoey is also very caring of others and their feelings. If she thinks you are sad or upset, she makes it a point to try and cheer you up or at the very least she wants to know what is wrong. I look at Zoey and sometimes realize to not take life too seriously. To enjoy the moment.

Nathan is a smart and very adventurous little boy. He is two but thinks he is at least the same age if not older as his older brother. He loves to get dirty and play hard. There isn't a sport that he hasn't fallen in love with. He adores his older brother. Nathan is stubborn and that usually gets him in trouble, but it also helps him to not give up. If he is going to do something, he is going to do it well. He is learning like crazy right now. Nathan is my little cuddle bug. He loves to give me hugs and twist my hair around his fingers. Most days I can't believe how grown he is getting. How much he can do (and get in to!). He keeps me on my toes and never is there a dull moment when he is around.

God has richly blessed with me with three healthy babies. I am one very thankful momma.

Thanksgiving Week of Thankfuls- Tuesday

I am thankful for my husband. Man, am I thankful for him. He is my other half. He is my soul mate. No doubt in my mind that when God created Kent, He also had me in mind. He knew that I would need Kent for my joys in life and also my trials. Kent is my best friend. He is the first one I want to share things with and the last one I want to see at night before sleep takes over. He is just my all. He has had my heart since I was in the 5th grade. And he will forever have it. I am thankful that he is the daddy to my babies. That he was the first one to hold each of their tiny hands. Kent is such a selfless provider. Never complaining about having to work and be the only bread winner in the family. He wouldn't have any other way and I am thankful for that. It makes it a lot easier to stay home when I know he is supporting me. Kent, you mean the world to me and I know I don't thank you enough. You are truly a blessing that I am grateful for.

Pardon the Week of Thankful interruption..

My week of thankfuls will carry on as usual BUT first...

Brought to you by Shutterfly...

I love Shutterfly. Like really, I do. I love to be able to be creative without all the work. They make it so easy to just pick a design and add your pictures and 'poof' instant greatness.

In the past I have used Shutterfly to make Valentine's card, birthday cards and even Halloween cards. I use them mostly for Christmas cards or just for printing out pictures. I love to go to the mailbox and see the Shutterfly envelope waiting inside. It's like opening a present on Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas.. There are so many gift giving ideas over at Shutterfly. You can make calendars, personalized mugs and Christmas invitations. Of course there are holiday cards to choose from and Christmas photo cards. So many designs to choose from that I am sure there is the perfect card just waiting to be made.

I already have 3 Christmas presents in the works just by using Shutterfly. And no doubt it will be were my cards will be coming from this year. And if I just so happen to procrastinate (which can really happen when you have a husband, 3 kids and a dog to take care of) then I can just get Shutterfly to mail my cards directly to my recipients. No licking envelopes!!

So really, what isn't there to love about Shutterfly??? Go! Go there now and check them out and make your Christmas card!! Seriously! Go now!!

Thanksgiving Week of Thankfuls- Monday

Today and everyday I am thankful for my salvation. Thankful that God cared enough for me that He gave His one and only Son to die in my place. Thankful that although I mess up, I stumble, I whine, complain.. sin. He is faithful and just to forgive me. That while I don't know all the answers to all the questions.. He does.

I am thankful for my church. Thankful that I have brothers and sisters in Christ to stand by me and sometimes for me when I can't. Thankful for the love and support that they have shared with me over the last 9 months. I am thankful that I have a place to grow and learn more about God and to strengthen my spiritual walk.

I am blessed.

Happy 6th Birthday, Jon Kent

Say what? 6? Oh yes.. 6 years ago today I gave birth to a tiny 5lb, 8 oz little boy. Who had the softest blond peach fuzz hair in the world. That day my heart was born.

Jon Kent, you have made me who I am today, a momma. I love you and will not quit until I breathe my last and even then I will love you through all your memories. You are 6 today and quickly growing into a big boy. I hope your day is just the way you've wanted and dreamed. You deserve only the best. I love you my first baby boy.. always have and always will.

Love,

Momma

Mommies have bad days, too.

I remember when I was little and probably misbehaving more than usual that my parents would be grumpy the whole day. I would lay in bed and think about it and wonder why they were so grouchy. In my young mind they had it made. Got to do whatever they wanted, got to tell me what to do all the time AND they got to stay up late!

Fast forward 20 some odd years...

Today was not a good day. Not one bit. My fuse was short and my patience were none. My head hurt, my brain hurt and my feelings were all over the place.

It sucked. Big time.

I did more fussing at the kids than I am willing to admit to.

It was just one of those days.

So, at the end of it. After the kids were all tucked away in bed I took some deep breaths.. swallowed my pride and went and talked to each of the kids. I told them that I loved them and would never, ever stop. That I was sorry I was such a grouch and that I was having a bad day. I asked them to forgive me and they all did (well.. Nathan just hugged and kissed me, so I think that means he still loves me, too). Hugs and snuggles were exchanged and hopefully a lesson was learned by all.

That mommies have bad days, too. And when they do.. they still love their babies and should never let their babies go to bed thinking otherwise.

That grass may not really be greener.. it may just be Astroturf.

I hate comparing. I hate when people compare my oldest son to my youngest son.. or vise versa. I hate when people sit around and talk about how much money they make, or how big their house is. I hate when I talk to people and in my own head I am thinking, "Yep.. I have done that.. Yep, done that too. Yeah.. I did that put I added this or that.. -or- Dang, why can't I do that. Why haven't I thought of that. Why am I not as put together as that...etc. etc. etc. etc.

I HATE IT!

Something else I hate. Feeling like less of a person because I am a stay-at-home mom. But not just any stay-at-home mom. But one who doesn't have some "side job" that I can do to bring in a little extra money. I have racked my brain over and over trying to think of just something I could do to feel like I contribute to the household income. And there are plenty of options. But none of which leave me with the amount of time I want to still be able to spend time with my kids and to get all the other household stuff taken care of.

I hate when I say that my job is being a wife and mother. Because while it's not a job.. but it is a job. If that makes any sense. I love my kids. I love, love, love my husband. They are my life. They aren't jobs. The house, on the other hand, is my job. And I take it seriously.. to an extent. I figure, God gave me this I am going to take care of it. To be a good steward of what He has given me. So it is my job.

I have seen people in my circle and extended circle of friends do both paths of motherhood.. or even womanhood. They work and have kids. Or they just work and have no kids. Or they stay at home. And every single one of them longs to be the other.

Why is that? Why do we always look to the other side. Why are we always seeing if maybe there is something better. We always feel like we are missing out on something.

I do it. And I hate it when I do. My current struggle is contentment. I long to just be content. Happy with what I have been given. To look around and know that the best is right in front of me. Healthy kids, healthy husband. Kent has a good job that he loves. There is food on the table. Clothes on our backs. We have cars that get us where we need to go. We have friends, family, church family that love and support us. What isn't to be content about?

It boils down to me. I am just not content with me. I feel I can be better, do better... And in a sense that is OK. To not become idle or slack. To want to grow and learn and better myself. To grow in my walk with God. I don't want to be content to just be. But I do want to be content with what God has given me.

It's a struggle.. but one that I am hoping is making me stronger.. wiser.

It's still hard

I knew my life would never be the same. The moment I heard my momma passed away I watched my perfect bubble pop. I mean, seriously, it was like slow motion. I can still see the look on Kent's face when I handed him the phone. I can still see the kids running to their daddy asking why momma was screaming and crying. I knew then that my life wouldn't be the same.

But I didn't know then how different it would be. How it seems everything circles back to my momma. I can't tell you how many times I think about her in a day. And I still think of something and want to call her.

The other night I was getting Zoey ready for bed. She was talking to me about cheerleading and how excited she was. She says the word cheerlearder like this: cheeraleadah. The second she said it, I said it back to her and I could hear my momma's voice in my head saying it, too. She would aways say that Zoey was her "cheeraleahah". Tears welled up in my eyes and I did my best to hold my tone steady as I finished talking to Zoey and getting her dressed. My momma would be loving this. She would be so proud to finally watch her baby girl cheer. It's something she talked about last year when Jon Kent started basketball and we knew Zoey would be cheering this year.

It's the small things it life. It really is. Doesn't matter what house you live in, what car you drive, what you do for a living. It's the small and simple things that mean the most in the end. Make the most of the small stuff.

Let the laughs begin!

Upward is starting at our church. Registrations were this week.. tomorrow night being the last night to register.

Jon Kent will be playing basketball. Of course. That boy loves, loves, loves his basketball. He has been asking when it will start back up ever since baseball ended in the Spring. He is beyond excited.

Zoey will be doing cheerleading. I am excited for her. And she is really excited. She has a friend who will also be on her squad, so I am sure they will have a blast.

Nathan will be.. well.. he'll be mad that he can't play basketball. Yeah... Maybe we can make him a mascot or something. :)

Kent will be a coach. Probably for one of the older boy teams.

I will be coaching cheerleading. I. Can't. Believe. I. Am. Doing. This. Seriously. I never cheered.. not one day in my life. I did auxiliary in high school with some dance. But not cheering. I was going to try out for cheerleading once and my daddy talked me out of it. So yeah.. It should be interesting. The cheers are mostly simple though. No tumbling or stunts are allowed. So that's good. And all the cheers are modest type cheers. No shaky of the booty, etc.

I am looking forward to it. It allows me to have a ministry to be a part of. To teach girls more about the Gospel. I am really excited about that.

Our first practice will be in December. And our first game will be in January. Can't wait!

Put your hands in the air...

Who is happy that the "30 Days of Emily" thing is over???

Me!

Don't get me wrong.. I love talking about myself.

OK, not really.

It was trying to say the least. Even though I did most of the posts ahead of time.. I always scared myself thinking that I forgot to post.

So.. yeah.. it's over. w00t!

Now back to my posting here and there.. as life permits and time allows.

Happy Halloween

Day 30: One last moment

Our newest family member. Her name is Nova. She is currently 12 weeks old. Full blooded German Shepherd. The kids (well.. except Nathan) love her. Nathan is still warming up to her. She is settling in well. She is a real sweetheart and I know that as she grows and the kids grow that they will each love each other more than we ever thought possible.

And there you have it.. 30 days of me!