As a momma, I wonder a lot if I am doing a good enough job with the kids. Am I raising them up right? Am I contradicting myself by saying one thing and doing another? Am I letting the kids be kids and not pushing them beyond their limits. Am I setting the appropriate boundaries for them and if so, do I make them stick to it? Am I too hard on them when sometimes I could just let loose a little bit more? These questions swirl around in my head most days. Don't you hate it when you are doing something and in your mind you are telling yourself, as the situation is unfolding, that you are doing it all wrong and really should stop and start over.. but you don't? Am I the only one who does that?
Well, with all that said.. there are times that everything comes together and for a moment you know you are doing things right. Even if you didn't realize you were and even if it wasn't planned out. It just clicks.
Last night we put the kids to bed. And after a full day of church it's usually harder to get them to settle down and go to sleep. So, the kids are in bed (supposedly) and one by one they all come out to ask a question or to show us something or what have you. I had finally gotten Zoey and Jon Kent to stay in their beds, but Nathan he kept getting up. We would here a "thump", followed by some running foot steps, a cymbal on his drum sounding off, followed by more running footsteps, some baby boy giggles and so on. I repeatedly told him to get back in his bed. He would say, "Otay, momma!" but it never lasted long. I went up there a few times and told him on the final time that if I had to come up there one more time he was going to get his butt popped. That lasted all of 2 minutes when again.. "Thump".. cymbal crash, running feet, giggles, etc. I yell up the steps for Nathan to get back in his bed. Jon Kent comes down the steps and says, "Momma, don't get on to Nathan. I just prayed to God to make Nathan get in his bed and go to sleep." And then proceeds to go back to his bed.
Talk about being proud and just speechless. I realized then, in the least bit way, I am doing something right. That he is learning and listening and picking up the good things that I am trying to teach him. So, sometimes I do the wrong thing. Get mad easily or don't do enough. But that's mommyhood and I am just glad that there are moments like that that make it all worth while.