Thursday, August 26, 2010

The day after

The morning after my momma passed away I was sleeping in my old room at my parents house. It looks completely different than it did when I was there. I didn't have the treadmill decor going on while I was living there. Or the ironing board decor to come to think of it. The bed was smaller then and thankfully it is much bigger now, otherwise Kent and I would be mightily uncomfortable trying to sleep on a twin bed. Although, we have done that before...

That morning I was sleeping and my cellphone started ringing. Which was odd because my parents' house has never gotten good, if any cell reception. It was like 6:15 in the morning and I was tired, so I let it go to voicemail. After laying there for a few minutes and not be able to talk myself back in to going to sleep I sat up and checked my voicemail. It was my dentist office in South Carolina asking to reschedule my appointment. I thought, "Good, I can't make it today anyway." Then the operator lady said that I had one skipped message and before I could even think who it could be I heard my momma's voice. Talk about eye opening. I just sat there and listened. And then I cried uncontrollably.

It was so surreal to be sitting in my old room, fixing to start a day of planning my momma's funeral and then hearing her voice. The feeling that was rushing all over my body is unexplainable. I don't think anyone could ever understand that feeling unless you have been in that same position. It was just.. different.

After listening to the voicemail I turned off my phone and tried to remember why she had called. And then I remembered it from the Saturday before and she was out shopping with friends. She had called to see if Zoey had a certain dress from Target. (When she called I let the call go to voicemail and immediately called her from my home phone since my cell didn't get good reception inside my house). She told me she had also found her some shoes for the summer. After recalling all of that, I looked up and there hanging in that room was the two dresses momma had gotten Zoey and the two pairs of shoes. They were just sitting there waiting to be delivered to us when we were to come that coming weekend. Again, so surreal.

It's moments like those that are etched in my mind. When my whole reality is blurred and nothing seems really real. It almost seemed like a dream.

After dwelling on the voicemail, the phone call I had with her that Saturday, looking at the dresses and shoes, remembering the phone call I had with her the day before.. I took a ton of deep breaths and got up and started the day. The day after my momma died. The day after my whole entire world changed.

1 comment:

Brandi said...

"Those we love are with the Lord, and the Lord has promised to be with us. If they are with Him, and He is with us, then they cannot be very far away." - Peter Marshall