I was at home. Completely out of it. Curled up in a tiny ball, with a huge blanket completely covering my body, head to toe, and I was sweating bullets. It was so freaking hot under that blanket but I was just too exhausted, weak to take it off. Not to mention, I didn't care to see another person who might be on the outside of that blanket. I just wanted to be invisible and to be honest I just wanted whoever was out there to just go away.
I was recovering from my second surgery, second miscarriage. I was done.
And six years later here I am. Three healthy, beautiful kids later and thankfully I came out from under that blanket. It took time. And from time to time I think what could've been. But mostly, I know that I wouldn't have it any other way.
Time does heal some wounds. Takes longer for some people. Each situation is different. That night I thought my world had ended. I felt like a failure. Like my own body had turned against me and that I had let my whole family and especially my husband down. But the reality is that it was the right time. God had other plans and while I still don't understand them I know I am better for the path I had to take to get where I am.
Six years ago today I was sad, hurting and hot. Now, I am happy, loved and filled with the warmth of having a wonderful family.