100th Day of School

Today was the 100th of school at Jon Kent and Zoey's school.  Sadly, Jon Kent has strep and wasn't able to make it.  That boy seems to be a magnet for strep.  Wash hands, sanitizer, etc.. doesn't matter.  He always gets it.  He was a bit bummed by the fact that he would miss all the fun activities that were planned for the day, but his teacher promised to save him some of the fun for tomorrow.

Zoey's class was to dress up as if they were 100 years old.  So that's what we did.  I had a blast dressing her up and she thought it was the funniest thing.  I had her saying, "Get out of my way you young whippersnapper." It was hilarious.  I giggled the whole time I was taking her pictures.  She was just too cute.

National Champions!

We are big Auburn fans around here.  I was wearing orange and blue long before I can remember.  I remember going to my first Auburn game.  I remember walking the field getting autographs from all the football players and cheerleaders at the time.  I married an Auburn fan and brought my first born child home from the hospital in head to toe Auburn.  I bleed orange and blue.  It's the way I was raised and the way I am raising my own.  While I have never attended Auburn (not that you have to, to be a fan) my grandfather did.  My momma was probably the biggest Auburn fan I knew.. probably the biggest one anyone knew.  And this year, for the first time since 1957 they won a National Championship.  10 months and 18 days after my momma passed away. My momma would have loved it.  LOVED it I tell you.  Bittersweet.  Bittersweet.  Kent and I enjoyed sharing that moment together.  He jumping all around and me taking quick pictures on my cellphone to document the celebration.  Then we went and rolled our tree in the front yard.  It's a tradition of Auburn's (Toomer's Corner).  It was a great, wonderful, bittersweet night.

And release...

I used to exercise... a lot.  Even after having Zoey.  Two kids under the age of 2 and I was in the gym 3+ days a week.  Steadily running mile after mile.  I did exercise videos, made up my own stuff, etc.  I remember standing in some weird position that the newest lady on the TV had put me in and thinking, "Is she ever going to say release?"

For the past almost year, I have been saying the same thing.  "God, are you ever going to say release?"  Release from this heavy burden that I have been carrying.  Release from guilt and regret.  Release from feeling that my world is upside down.  Release from not being able to focus because my mind always wonders back to the last time I talked to her.  Release from feeling like the odd man out of my own marriage (no direct fault to my husband) because he still has his mom (that sounds incredibly selfish and probably is, but it's just the truth of my feelings).  Release from worrying if I am going to lose my daddy next.  Release from worrying that I am going to be next and then my children will have to carry this sometimes unbearable burden.  Just release me already!

A few nights ago I was laying in my bed, unable to sleep, and I just started praying.  Talking with God like He was laying on the pillow beside me.  Asking Him questions, telling Him my heart, asking for forgiveness...  I believe I fell asleep while praying.  That next morning I woke up to a release.  A peaceful release.

Not to say that my world was just totally turned back to the way it was.  Or that my heart still didn't ache or long for things to be the way they used to be.  But the burden was lifted.

My pastor preached Sunday morning on Matthew 7:7-11.  Most people know the first verse, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."  You hear that first verse a lot when seeing certain "preachers" on TV.  But it's not something instant, like they would have you to believe.  Sometimes you have to ask, and ask, and ask.  Sometimes you have to seek, and seek, and seek.  Knock, and knock, and knock.  And even then God doesn't have to answer the way we think He should.  Or at all.

When I was in that weird position while exercising, just waiting for the lady to say release, I was growing stronger.  My body was being put to the test and while it hurt and I didn't like it, I was stronger in the end than when I first started.  I was released.  But then she would say a new position and back at it I went.

Same goes for me now.  I am in a weird position.  A hard position.  And will continue to be.  It hurts, I don't like it and I just want to be released.  But at the very same time I am stronger, more able, more connected to God.  I long for the day of a perfect, forever release.  But until then, back to my weird position.  Growing stronger in my walk with Him everyday.

Snowy Winter

Two snow "storms" just two weeks or so apart.  Since this is my blog and I can be totally honest in my own blog because the only person around here I am trying to impress is me.. and since I am rarely politically correct, etc. etc. etc. I can just be frank.  I hate snow.  OK, so maybe hate is a bit strong.  I like to look at snow and I like the warm cozy feeling that comes when there is snow on the ground, a fire in the fireplace and a cup of hot chocolate (or Starbucks) in hand.  But getting out in the snow...  Yeah.. no thanks.  It might be different if there were some hills close by to sled on.  But it's just flat around the house.  That is something I do miss about Alabama.  We had a lot of hills to sled down when it snowed.  AND it takes me a good 30 minutes to get the kids and myself dressed only to be outside for 10-20 minutes before the kids start telling me they are cold.  BUT one good thing has come from all the snow that we have gotten.. my dressing time has improved.  It used to be longer than 30 minutes.  Oh and another thing.. I have learned proper layering so that I can usually get an extra 10 minutes out of the kids before they do start hollering about being cold.  I seriously just need to invest in snowsuits, but if I did.. it would probably be the mildest winter on record... (hmmm... that might not be so bad..).  ANYWAY, I said all that to say this.. enjoy the pictures!

God is in the moment.. every moment

It's nearing the one year mark.

A whole year without my momma.  I guess because February is coming up soon, my momma has been on my heart and mind a lot.  I have played and replayed that day over and over in my head.  Usually many times in one day.

Until you lose someone, there is just no way to explain the hurt.  And to lose someone so suddenly.. there just aren't words to describe how my heart feels most days.

The day my momma passed away was a normal day to me.  The whole day leading up to it went just like it always did.  But hindsight and knowing what I believe in, I know that I had extra heavenly presence with me that day.  That Jesus, while He is always with me, probably held me tighter or carried me more that day than normal. He knew what was in my future, because He was already there.

When I talked to my momma that afternoon, she sounded so peaceful.  And it's hard to explain how you can hear in someone's voice peace.  But before we had barely hung up the phone I remember thinking how happy and peaceful she sounded.. for no reason at all.  Again, knowing what I believe, Jesus was standing right there beside her.. waiting for her to get off the phone with me so He could take her home.

When my daddy called to tell me my momma had passed away Jesus was there.  He held me through my husband's arms, through my kids arms, while I was standing in my closet crumpled on the floor holding the clothes I knew I would be wearing at my momma's funeral.  He was there in all those moments.

God was with me in the prayers of those who prayed for me that evening and who have continued to pray for my family and me as we've gone through this almost year.

The one moment that sticks out the most to me is something I haven't shared with anyone( well, Kent will read this before it's published).  I've kept it very close to my heart.  We were traveling the 4+ hours it takes to get from here to Alabama and I was crying off and on the whole way.  At one point while crying uncontrollably I remember mumbling to God to just let me feel His presence.  To let me know that He was by my side.  To let me know He was there.  And while I believe God doesn't just out right talk to people all the time (I know He has and probably still does in some cases) I heard Him say, "I AM".  I know no one else heard it.  And I'm not sure it was audible.  It's rather hard to explain.  It was almost like I could feel the words coming in my ear (right ear to be exact).  I know it sounds weird or odd to some.  But when I heard those words, just a flood of peace fell over me.  I knew then and there that God was very present and would get me through.  During my hardest days or even moments, I let my mind go back to that moment and let it remind me that God is still with me.  He didn't leave and He won't leave.

God is in every moment.  Past, present and future.  There isn't a moment that surprises Him or catches Him off guard.  He knew before time became how February 23, 2010, would unfold.  He knows how everyday will unfold.  Take peace in the fact that the great 'I AM' is always present.

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Blogging priority..

Seems as though my blog has been left out in the cold.  Yes, that pun was intended.  It's winter.  Not a lot goes on in winter.  Which stinks.  Not to mention it's cold.  And apparently the fact that I live in the south doesn't save me from having to deal with snow and ice.. and seriously cold temps.  Over the last week my small corner of the world has been dealing with snow and ice.  And thankfully it rained last night and washed all or at least most of it away.  I don't like snow.  I wasn't born a penguin or a northerner so my body doesn't do well in colder temps.  I function so much better once the temps get into the 70's.

There have been on goings in the O'ville household despite the cold.  We are still painting.  I promise to get pictures up soon.  I am still waiting on a few things to arrive so that I can hang them up and trying to find pictures that have since been lost.  Those pictures being Jon Kent and Zoey's baby photo books and for whatever reason they are missing.  MAJOR HEART ATTACK here.  But hopefully those will be found soon.  There have been several rooms painted since Zoey's.  The main guest bathroom, living room, dining room (which we use for our computer area (we aren't formal enough for an actual dining room) and the hallway.  My daddy was here this past weekend and helped get the huge living areas painted.  HUGE thanks to him.  Next up with be Jon Kent and Nathan's room (probably).  Unless I get a wild hair and paint the kitchen or master bedroom first.  We are ordering the boys bunk beds and switching their room and the current playroom.  So lots going on around here even though it's been so cold.  I do have some snow pictures from last week that I need to post.. but those will have to wait.  I'm not motivated enough to load/edit/collage them right now.  Maybe later.

Speaking of later... we are going to Disney World this summer.  The kids will miss a week of school, which I am a bit antsy about, but heck it's a family trip and they are still young enough that catching up on what they miss shouldn't be too hard.  I hope.  And I hope they have sweet, understanding teachers.  If not.. well.. I'll let Kent talk with them. :)  We are really excited and the kids are too.  Kent let it slip that we were going so I get to hear about it until September.  Lovely.  But it does add to the excitement.

Well, that's about it for catching you up on our news.  I know it was thrilling and probably all 5 of you who regularly read were probably on the edges of your seats just waiting for my return to blogger world.  Wha.. you weren't.. oh well.. don't let me know that.  It's might bruise my enormous ego.

Upward Basketball and Cheerleading- 2011

Upward has started.  Today was our first game.  Jon Kent playing basketball and Zoey cheering.  That both did so well.  Jon Kent scored 10 points and had 8 steals.  Zoey cheered her heart out and was into the whole experience.  They both had a great day.  I am Zoey's cheerleading coach and I must say.. it was so much fun watching the girls cheering and see all the hard work paying off.  Enjoy the pictures!

Let it begin!

In 2011 my house is getting a face lift.  FINALLY!  We started in Zoey's room.  And here are the results:

Before:

After:

Currently under "construction": The main guest bathroom.  It's already painted.  Just need to get everything put in it's place and stuff hung on the walls.

PS: Click on the pictures to see them in full.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!  May this year be better than last.

Seriously.. please let it be better than last.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We started painting today.  In Zoey's room.  I've had her room dreamed up in my head for years now.  Started getting her room in Alabama the way I wanted it and then we moved.  And now.. getting it back all girly again.  Lovin' it.  Still have a few touch ups to do in there and putting stuff on her walls.  But otherwise, it's coming along nicely.  It's purple.  She loves it, I love it.. Good stuff.

I am thinking the next thing to get painted will be Zoey's bathroom (main guest bathroom).  I already have it decorated the way it will be in the end.  Just need the paint on the walls.. and maybe a few things to bring it all together.

The room I am having a roadblock with is the boys' room.  We are actually moving them downstairs and into bunk beds.  Jon Kent wants a green room.. like the actual name of the color is "grass stain" green.  It is BRIGHT!  And I don't think it will look good.  So we will see about that and maybe I can talk him out of it.

As for the rest of the house.. I am stuck on it as well.  I will just have to take it one step at a time and see what comes my way.  But I am just excited to be painting.  REALLY EXCITED!

Already can start crossing off one of my New Year's resolutions.  Yay!

BIG THANKS to my hunky hubby for being a trooper and helping me today!

**Pictures to come later!**