Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The kids

My kids were playing the Wii, Mario Kart, I believe when my daddy called to tell me about my momma dying. Kent was sitting on the couch and I looked over at him in horror. He knew right then and there something was wrong... really wrong. I immediately started yelling. Yelling for my momma, saying it wasn't true, saying No, no, no.. over and over, saying I just talked to her and she sounded fine. All in between sobs and more yelling. To say it freaked my kids out would be an understatement. Kent had to tell them why I was crying.. and yelling. Of course, with them being 5, 4 and almost 2 they couldn't fully understand what was going on. They were crying and scared because of my crying. Zoey kept asking me over and over if I was sad that "Gramsie dieded". I kept telling her yes. As I was rushing around trying to pack and get us on the road I found Zoey in the hallway with her face pressed against the wall crying. I asked her what was wrong. She said that she was sad that Gramsie was dead. I told her I was too and that I loved her and that Gramsie loved her as well. She calmed down a little bit and told me, with tears still in her eyes that, "Gramsie said when she died I could have her jewelry. She knew I didn't have any." I couldn't help but laugh. I had heard my momma say those words several times to Zoey. It was kind of a joke in the family since I said similar words to my Aunt Karen Kay when I was about Zoey's age and my aunt was laying on the couch sick from the flu or something. All the way to Alabama the kids would ask a question here and there. We have tried to answer them to the best of our ability. It's hard though. Because some questions just can't be answered. Zoey said she was sad because Gramsie wouldn't be able to sleep with her and snore like she used to do. I wish they had more time to spend with my momma and to build more memories with her. But on the other hand, with them being so young maybe the heart ache won't be so bad. I'm thankful for the days they did get with my momma and that my momma was alive to see each of them.


Brandi said...

(((hug))) I am still praying for you and your family. Every once in awhile Ryan will get sad and I'll ask him what's wrong. He will tell me that he really misses his pap pap. He will say you know the man that rides his Harley in Heaven. It amazes me the things he remembers because he was only 15 months old when my Dad died. I just tell Ryan it's OK to be sad but one day we will see pap pap in Heaven.

Karen said...

Bless their little hearts. I think you are right about their heartache not being so bad since they are so young. I know there are a lot of books for kids dealing with death. They can help to answer questions and help them to understand things a little better. (((())))

Bridgett said...

I just can't imagine the horror of picking up the phone and hearing that news.

You're a strong woman, Em. Never doubt it. And your kids are going to be okay.

I apologize for my tardiness. I'm really trying to keep up with blogs, but it's nearly impossible.