My life just completely changed.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010 was a beautiful day here in South Carolina. Beautiful. The kids and I were outside playing after naps just enjoying the sunshine and waiting on Kent to get home from work. At 4:19pm my momma called to chit chat about this and that. We talked about how we both were looking forward to Kent, myself and the kids going to Alabama for the weekend. She told me how Zoey told her she was looking forward to sleeping with her Gramsie. I asked if her and my daddy wanted to keep the kids one night while we were there. We decided on Friday. She asked me to pick up two cards for her that she had forgotten to get while she was up here. I told her I would. She also told me about a fainting spell she had had earlier. We both really thought nothing of it because she said she didn't feel well, could have been low blood sugar since she was diabetic and said it came and went very quickly. She sounded happy, peaceful even. I remember thinking that while I was talking to her. She then said she needed to get back to work and we said our good-byes (no I love yous, which I am regretting like something horrible now). Not 5 minutes later a 911 call was being made for her. Not 5 minutes later... That still blows my mind. At first we thought it was a while later, but after putting all the pieces together we figured it all out. My daddy called her, which he normally didn't do, on his way home from work. They chit chatted about stuff as well and he commented that he also remembered how happy she sounded. They said good-bye and I love you and then she turned around and called me. I truly believe it was the hand of God allowing us our good-byes. How else would all that have happened the way it did and how close it did to her passing away?

My momma's death was sudden and unexpected. No one would have even imagined that 5 days ago would be my momma's last day. But it was. And she was ready for it. She knew who her Lord and Savior was. On an April fools day 20 some odd years ago she gave her heart to Jesus. So while I mourn the loss of my momma, I know exactly where she is. I know that she is at the feet of Jesus. That she is with the two babies that I miscarried. And while it hurts me to know she won't get to see all the milestones my kids meet, that she is enjoying her grandbabies that even I haven't seen. That comforts my heart. My aching heart.

I knew my momma was social and giving. But I didn't fulling realized how much until her viewing. At my momma's viewing was breath taking. Many people waited for over 2 hours in line to see her and talk to the family. People were lined all throughout the funeral home and outside in the cold to pay their respects. People parked down the street from the funeral home and walked because the parking lot was filled. Person after person came by and told me how my momma had touched their life one way or the other. Through a card, a note, a phone call, a special small gift at the right time. This went on for over 3 hours. Person after person after person. It opened my eyes to so many things that I didn't see or appreciate before. But I do now. I am seeing life differently now. I wish it didn't have to come after the loss of my momma, but it did and I know that she would be so proud and honored.

The town put a sign on their marque saying, "In Memory of Candy Sue Ponder. April 28, 1954-February 23, 2010" on an antique theater in the middle of the town square. There was an article in the paper about her and how she support the local college. My momma was an amazing woman, who loved people and loved her family.

My momma's funeral couldn't have gone better. Well.. as well as a funeral can go. She was remembered, honored, the Word of God was preached and we got to say our final good-bye. But one day, one day.. we will meet again. I long for that day, but I am also in no hurry for it to come. I know she wouldn't be either. So until that day does come I am going to have an ache in my heart and a new appreciation of life. That it comes and goes so suddenly that we need to say I love you now, to tell those who are dear to us that they are appreciated and amazing and to live each and everyday like it could be our last and to tell other's about Jesus and how He came to save us from our sins.

I will forever miss my momma. I will forever long to tell her something, to ask her about something, to just talk to her. I will forever and ever love her.