Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I will praise You in this storm.

Six days from today will be February 15th.  That time last year was the last time I saw my momma alive.  Two weeks from today will be the day that my heart will always ache from.  The day that one phone called changed who I am.  It's almost been a whole year.  It seems unreal that a whole year has come and gone and that she missed it all.  In the same thought, sometimes it feels like it's been years.  And sometimes it feels like only days.  It's still so surreal at times.  Still hurts.  Still makes me question things.  But there is still peace.  How I am ever thankful for that peace.


Monday evening Kent and I were laying in bed watching some TV before going to sleep and I had my left arm pulled back and had some slight discomfort around my left breast and chest bone.  So I felt around and found a lump.  I thought it might have been caused from the under wire of my bra and figured I would recheck it in the morning and see what it felt like then.  So the morning came and went (I got busy) and later that evening I felt of it again and it was still there.  I decided that I would call the doctor's office first thing in the morning (today).  So that's what I did.  They were very compassionate about the whole thing and were able to squeeze me in.  The doctor did her examination and felt the lump that I had found and then found another one in the same breast.  She said that more than likely they are just cysts and will resolve themselves.  She wants me to go through a whole menstrual cycle to see if it changes any with my cycle.  So if the lumps aren't resolved then I have an appointment to go back March 9th for another examine and possible ultra sound.

It's nerve racking to a point.  But I am not letting my mind go too far down that road.  I know that God already knows and is already there.  I am in His hands and as a child of His He will take care of me.

Storms.  I want to be able to say that I praised Him through it all.


Kristine said...

((hugs)) I can't believe it's been almost an entire year either. :(

Sending good thoughts your way about the lumps...hopefully they do clear up on their own! Hang in there.

TH said...


God bless you as you walk this side of Heaven without your Mama... you are strong, beautiful... and you honor her with such grace with your sweet word. She knew you loved her so.

I am praying for those lumps to shrink. Almost always they do with the cycle. And sometimes they can be related to drinking pop... or soda if thats how you say it in the south. Nonetheless... you are right in putting your faith in the One who is already there... God will take care of you!!!

Also, I wanted to suggest to you Ann Voskamp's Book "a thousand blessings". I am reading it with an online Bible study on the incourage website. Emily... it's amazing and I think if you read it you would find much healing as I have... so far they have only done two chapters... a video for each. I've cried and prayed and thanked God more than I have in a long long time.

Think of you from time to time... take care and God Bless!

Brandi said...

((((hugs)))) I hope the lumps clear up. God is good. He doesn't give us anything we can not handle.

clauren said...

Preying for you. Cass