5

Five months have gone by. Five months of wanting to pick up the phone or send an email. Five months of wondering how life would be different. Five months of wishing I didn't have to answer questions of what you are doing in heaven. Five months of thinking, "Momma would love to see Zoey in that or Momma would be so proud of her grandbaby for doing this or Momma would be so excited about the new baby coming." Five months of having to figure out a new way to think, live, act. Five months that seem like days and years all at the same time. Five months without my momma and I can still honestly say that I have joy in my heart that she is perfectly made whole in heaven and a lump in my throat that it all still very much sucks.